I was invited out for dinner this evening and I declined. What the hell is wrong with me? Isn’t this what I’ve spent a month begging for? I had my chance for human interaction and I spit in its face. This opportunity may not present itself again.
This week was tumultuous. It began with promise, had a bump in the middle and then course corrected itself by the end. I went through a sea-saw of emotions and at one point I caved and wrote a couple of ill-considered blog posts which I have since deleted.
I do not believe in censorship, but as I reflected on what I want to accomplish with this blog, the discarded posts didn’t match up with my overall vision. I want to evolve as a human being, and not fall back on old habits.
I’ve spent a lot of time reading blogs by expats living in Argentina and I couldn’t help but notice that mine is lackluster in one area: it doesn’t have a theme. I thought about this for a little bit. I don’t affiliate with anything. For instance, many of the blogs I have found are about people who identify themselves as artists, or writers, or foodies, or photographers. I don’t know why but I have always disliked putting myself into a box and saying, “This is who I am.” When I was younger I tried and I always felt inauthentic.
Perhaps this is because I beleive that I am not just one thing, and I am admittedly skeptical of individuals who maintain that one discipline is the sum of all their parts and that everyone must think so too.
I have never belonged to a social clique. I have never found one that was free of ego. When I wake up in the morning I try my hardest to be the best person I can be and to take the steps necessary to ensure that I’m making a human impact. I want to put a smile on someone’s face and if I can make a small positive difference in someone’s life, then that’s just gravy.
So in the end I concluded that my blog does have a theme: I’m human. And perhaps this isn’t a travel blog, or a very well written blog for that matter, but each and every post comes directly from my heart, however schmaltzy that might sound. I try to give to my readers a piece of myself, no matter how flawed that piece may be.
And if I can throw in a little cynical sarcasm here and there, well hey, that’s just me.
Have a good weekend everyone and remember when you wake up in the morning that it’s good to breathe.